Top 10 List...from a guitarist

[PocketPlayer]

Found this and wanted to share...summer fun!

[This is an actual post found on a guitar forum. This is what these people think about drummers. They don't voice their opinions about drummers often so I thought it might help remind us of our jobs and even give us something to think about next time we interact with non-drummer types (poor souls)]


Top 10 rules for auditioning drummers (and others)
We're struggling with auditioning drummers right now. So far, we've found really nice guys who can't play, and great players who are buttwipes. One turned out to have a few private agendas. We looked up machiavellian in the dictionary, and there was a picture of him next to the definition!

So, here are my top 10 rules for setting up your audition, and the audition itself:

1. If you can't play, don't call. I can find a monkey to do fills. You're supposed to be a drummer, so keeping a beat (shock!) is important.

2. If fast means loud and slow means quiet, don't bother setting up your kit.

3. Don't waste my time. If you aren't interested in joining, don't set up the audition. Yes, an 8-piece horn band is very cool, and we know you'd love to hear us, but we're not here for your entertainment. We'll invite you to a show after we find a real drummer.

4. We aren't interested in bringing your friends on board, I don't care how well they play. We have our lineup.

5. If you tell me you're 'one of the best in the area', or a 'legend' on the phone, (these both happened), I won't even set up the audition. If you were really that good, then why aren't you working? Maybe you're impossible to get along with? Of course that ego can't help much, right?

6. If we offer you the slot, be prepared to accept or decline within a reasonable amount of time. 3 weeks is not reasonable. It's not that hard of a decision, we're not getting married, you're joining a band.

7. Do not assume we're going to offer you the slot on the first night. If you show promise, we'll ask you back for a second go.

8. If you don't practice at home, then you may stay at home. Very few people can come in and play without learning the tunes, odds are you're not one of them.

9. If dynamics means nothing more to you than a type of microphone or a lesson in the Dale Carnegie course, don't call me.

10. If playing at normal volume is impossible because (get this) "Drums are a live instrument, and not amplified", you are not a drummer. You are someone who pounds on dead animal skins with sticks. There's a difference.

All of these have occured recently. I cannot believe people will flat out lie about themselves on the phone, or worse yet, they think they're the greatest and really suck.

Still looking in Michigan.


Here's a reply from another person.....

Good luck with that. Personally I think the most difficult role to fill in any band is the drummer. A good one can take you far. A bad one... well, you know what that's all about.

My band is an original comedic rock band. Sort Zappa-like, They Might Be Giants, Dead Milkmen, etc.

We played for two years with a drum machine rather than having a crappy live drummer.

Recently we found a drummer. The guy blows me away. I'm so incredibly thankful that we lucked out in finding this guy. Here's what makes him kick ass:

1) He understands the role of the dums. The drums are NOT the main thing going on ALL the time. He creates a groove and keeps the band in it. Fills and complicated **** that only impresses other drummers are kept to a minimum.

2) Dynamics - The guy keeps a steady tempo yet can play soft. So weird. In fact, he WANTS to play softly so he can hear what's happening.

3) Listening - If I look at the drummer, his eyes are up, his ears are open. We've got all original tunes and he's played with us three times now yet I'd play out tomorrow with him. He's alert to what's happening in every song. He watches for cues. We don't count off the songs to start. It's enough to give him a downbeat with my head just like a real musician.

4) Set - This guy understands that more drums do not make him a better drummer. His set is compact. He doesn't even use a large bass drum - it's a floor tom held on its side by some contraption. When you're playing small bars, space is at a premium. There's no need to haul a bunch of extra crap. The bigger/louder the set, the louder the whole band has to be and that is often too much for smaller places.

5) Feel - He played pro for about a decade or so in a rock cover band. The guy has played a lot of different styles and he knows his ****. He's got a natural touch for what is necessary to support a section or to drive.

6) Attitude - Our drummer is friendly, excited about the music, no ego, just wants to have a little fun like the rest of us.

We're lucky. But like I said, it took those two years to finally get to this place. We were happier playing with a drum machine than a crappy drummer.

[LDGuy]

Seems fair enough, i mean, the guy was just stating the sort of stuff i reckon should come as common sense to drummers. It can't be that hard - just see it from the other musicians' point of view. And the stuff about dynamics i truely agree with.

But i reckon the guy got pretty screwed by a lot of drummers he took on, and that was written out in a rant-ish sorta mood. I think he was just laying down the law, but if i was looking for a band, i'd want them to be friendly, and not over judgemental or strict.

[moosetication]

Any player of any instrument could write a list like that for auditioning any other instrument. In fact, they probably have. There are egotistical, incompetent dickwads playing guitar, bass, keyboards, drums, sax and (probably) spoons and washboard.

I disagree with one comment - it is like a marriage, which is why finding the right people is hard work.

[benrand]

What forum was this?

[Mazzhole]

Bwahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!
Incompetent Dickwads!!!

[got_a_matchgrip]

GREAT thread.

Great topic, w good responses [even the funny ones!]

Obviously they seem to be dealing w the cattle call style self-deluded morons w local stars in their eyes situation...kind of like many of the American Idol/Mydol/My doll rejects. [img]wink.gif[/img] Bummers.

"'Almost' as important" as, say, the getting hung up in the endless conjecture of jabbering semantics & rhetoric that are the "what groove or jazz really is" ones [i said, "almost"...*snicker*]... [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Derek DeFields]

Most of those apply to musicians in general.
There are some real gems on that list though; #2 is my favorite.

[Flamaque]

Being in many many many original acts in my drumming career, the one thing that I do when auditioning other players is having them back for three auditions.

Typical audition:
1st time... Sounds good, picks up the tunes pretty well.
2nd time... Sounds ok, not quite getting the hang of it.
3rd time... Not too into his sound, keeps missing those specific parts I asked him to work on.
For me, 3 is the key.
If he (or she) passes the third, then their a keeper.

[got_a_matchgrip]

Great post!

4 aud's, wow. Great "Safety-Net/Zone" way to weed out impostors, bullscatters, & impossibles.

I think this is why many bands today forego the "cattle-call" situation if they are able to avoid it...they are tiring & wearisome, ESP if you have to see more than at least 1 "hack" [both in the music, professional, &/or personal sense...sorry for lack of "nicer" wording].

Word of mouth via other "inside" players, AWA reputation, seem to be the key mostly these days to landing a good aud. I think that's why it's important to network & have a great work [& play] ethic. Work ethic, conduct, attitude, reliability, promptness, team player, the "7-P's" [preparedness]; all as [if not more] important as is the musicality [groove/pocket & ears, etc].

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ July 29, 2005 04:02 PM: Message edited by: got_a_match_grip? ]</font>

[Henry II]

Originally posted by moosetication:
. . . I disagree with one comment - it is like a marriage, which is why finding the right people is hard work.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Exactly! Now, give me that remote, dammit.